


stay (still for me)

by chuchotements



Category: Block B
Genre: Alternate Universe - Art School, Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, jaeco, mom i love them, this is years old but like i gotta post it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 15:34:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14335584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chuchotements/pseuds/chuchotements
Summary: in which jaehyo is a photographer and jiho is a painter and everything happens so much.





	stay (still for me)

**Author's Note:**

> my attempt at capturing the feelings that exist between ahn jaehyo and woo jiho. this is extremely unfinished. i'd gotten farther but due to a mishap, lost a lot of progress. anyhow i thought i'd share what i have. might come back to it, might not!
> 
> \+ mood setter music:  
> https://8tracks.com/encriers/stay-still-for-me

jaehyo gets past three songs before he rips out his earbuds to halt the incessant buzzing that most definitely isn't part of his playlist. The vibrations tickle his fingers as he picks up his phone, barely registering the name as he swipes to ignore, again. He's turning back to his sketchbook of thumbnails when his phone jitters once more, screen alight with a ladder of kakao messages. jaehyo breathes in, out, and opens the app.

hyung  
chicken wings  
u want?  
I'm coming over.  
hey I got 'em I'm like ten min away  
okay I'm outside  
hyung  
ㅠㅠ  
okay but like I'm gonna sit on your doorstep and eat all of them  
there's a cute girl here too imma give some to her lol  
hy  
ung

then there's a selca of the nuisance, the rounded point of his nose peering over the edge of the photo, cheek ballooned to the side with food

gross. jaehyo thinks. and cute. and gross.

with a final somber glance at his desk, he goes to the doorway to slip on his vans, listening to the sound of his soles against the concrete stairs and how the pattern doesn't match up with his slowly escalating heart rate.

the brisk air of late autumn hits him as he kicks open the front door, sending his bangs up out of his face and somebody stumbling forward onto the sidewalk.

jaehyo looks down without blinking.

"get up, jiho. you're so dramatic."

"nice to see you too. i should've eaten all of them."

jaehyo exhales through his nose. chicken wings are the last thing on his mind. it's midterms and he's got a history of photography paper and he's got this series to develop and now there's—this. "are you coming in or not?"

jiho straightens up and stubs out his cigarette, grin more crooked than usual in the harsh light of the lantern over the doorway. "yeah."

he brushes past jaehyo, pausing on the threshold to peck a kiss to his cheek. jaehyo can't decide whether to move away or lean into it so he stays still, face stoic, feels the burn of contact as jiho pulls away humming and jogs ahead up the stairs.

jaehyo swings the door shut behind them with a sharp click.

\-------

there's a small series of scuff marks along the edge of the floor where jiho likes to kick off his shoes and they hit the bottom of the wall. maybe the most permanent marks he leaves here, jaehyo thinks vaguely as he turns the lock.

jiho's already set the plastic bag down and is rummaging in the kitchen for cutlery. "is soohyun not back? have you eaten yet?" he rattles off as he cracks open the fridge looking for beers.

"no," jaehyo says, not answering anything in particular, sitting down on the couch. jiho bounces over with two asahis in his hands.

"here."  
"thanks."

jaehyo opens his can and lets the fizz cover the sound of jiho egging him to eat.

he doesn't want this right now. he wants...

"jiho."  
"mm?"  
"you really can't stay long, I've got stuff to finish..." he peels off a bit of meat and inspects it idly before putting it in his mouth.

"oh. okay. I just wanted to swing by, you know."

he knows.

jiho lifts his cap to readjust his hair.  
"you re-bleached," jaehyo blurts out and he hates himself for noticing.

"yeah, the roots weren't looking so good."

you always look good. jaehyo fumes internally. you look good with your hair down, with your hair up, when you come to class late and have paint on your cheek from falling asleep in studio, when you're lounging by the river, cigarette dangling from your lips, even when you're half buried under kwon against the wall at the club....

fingers resting on his thigh snap him back to reality, and jaehyo wishes both his mental states weren't so painful. jiho's looking at him in a way that jaehyo can read the words that aren't there but he's so terribly, horribly used to hearing: wanna fool around?

he turns away and takes a swig of beer. "you can't keep doing this."

jiho blanches. "doing what?"

"you know."

he knows.

"hyung."

"I've got some thumbnails to finish and-"

the kiss is gentle but earnest. jaehyo swallows the rest of his sentence as jiho presses into him like a half-hearted apology. he thinks about how jiho tastes, and wonders if it's all him or if it's a mixture of joonyoung, jaebeom, and yukwon at the same time. he breaks away at that, feeling sick, and tells jiho to go. he does, but not before he pouts (gross. cute. gross.) and tells jaehyo to remember to eat because he can get carried away when he's focused.

it's only when the door closes that jaehyo releases his breath, and downs the rest of his beer.

\-------

jaehyo meets jiho through kyung. kyung is an architecture major, which suits him, calculating and bright and set on solving bigger problems. jaehyo befriends him during their foundations year pre-requisite and he finds he's woefully bad at 3D. he's two years older than kyung, having started out in computer science due to his love for tinkering with technology. but then he found out about photography, and how he could bring things to life in a different way, so here he was, a transfer graduate student struggling in foundations with a piece of foam, trying to get it to look like, well, anything.

"just keep experimenting and let the material surprise you," kyung says, peering over at the sad figure that is jaehyo slumped over his desk. there's a gorgeous sculptural shape sitting in front of kyung already, geometric angles jutting into space.

"easy for YOU to say," jaehyo mumbles miserably.

"true," kyung relents, "but I'm shit in 2D. you should see my friend jiho's work, he's WILD. like, I just work better with 3D, you know? it's how I think. some people are made for different planes of realization."

jaehyo stares at him before sitting up. "do you ever turn off being smart? is it tiring? I'm just wondering."

kyung laughs and moves his seat over to help.

\-------

jaehyo discovers that where kyung is soft and logical and comforting, jiho is the opposite.

he's elusive at first, even if he hears about him everywhere. it's mostly because jaehyo isn't big on parties, and so conveniently avoids them and everyone that populates them. but he trusts kyung's taste and listens intently to his stories about jiho, the friend who's grown up with him since age 6 and who could draw at age 2, who first dyed his hair at age 12 and starting dating both guys and girls at 16. he seems volatile and unnerving and intriguing all at once. the kind of person jaehyo would hate if kyung didn't talk about him so lovingly.

jaehyo finds himself wanting to meet him in spite of himself.

it happens by chance. it's 10pm and they're walking across market square discussing the relevance of video games to art making when kyung calls out to a group of young men sitting on one of the square's large stone slabs in front of the film building. they draw up to them and jaehyo surveys the gathering: one shorter but toned with a regal air and dark, slicked back hair; another with jagged dirty blonde hair, a thick build, sharp eyes, and a sharper jaw. jaehyo can immediately tell which one is jiho as his eyes land on the last boy (he has to say boy, he's always the hyung), who is sprawled out over most of the stone surface. he's heard enough from kyung to know, from the silvery blue dyed hair to the ripped jeans pulled taut over slender legs, to the makeup that lines curious cat eyes tinged red from smoking.

"jaehyo, this is minhyuk, yukwon, and jiho," says kyung, maneuvering his hand to point to each person.

"hey," greets jiho with a smirk, and a puff of smoke exits his lips. jaehyo tries to ignore how plump his mouth looks.

"hey," he manages, feeling old and awkward and woefully uncool.

"nice to meet you," says yukwon, the most mentally present of the three, and minhyuk tips his chin in accession as jiho passes him the blunt. jaehyo hasn't even smoked anything but he's feeling light-headed from how jiho's staring at him.

"kyung talks about you," jiho says suddenly, never breaking his gaze.

"oh?"

"yeah, your photographs. says you're really good."

jaehyo loses the staring contest by looking just past him at a brick wall. "ah.. I just dabble really.... but I'm gonna try to learn more in the department."

"i'm so psyched for what he's gonna do here," kyung asserts, turning to him with genuine fervor, and jaehyo warms at the support.

"yeah, I was in compsci, but—yeah—need i say more? so now i'm here. it makes the most sense, right now. feels.. feels right." he feels like he's rambling to strangers and exhales in embarrassment, manages to pull his eyes back to jiho, who's only studying him as if he's a work on critique.

"kyung tells me about your work. says it's crazy. I gotta see it some time."

jiho's face cracks into a grin, then, and jaehyo feels the ground move under him, suddenly wishes he has his camera.

"yeah, swing by any time. I'm in East."

there's a bit more idle chatter before they keep walking, and it's only until they've rounded the corner that jaehyo realizes his face is burning. he's grateful for the shadows of nighttime as he shakes his head minutely, as if that might make the temperature fall from his cheeks.

"I'm glad you guys met. we should all hang out some time," kyung beams.

"does jiho model?" jaehyo asks without thinking.

a pause, then a laugh. "no, not professionally. but I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you want to collaborate on something."

"something...."

he's quiet as they mount the hill to the dorms. kyung continues the topic from before as if jaehyo hadn't just insinuated that he found jiho good-looking, talking animatedly to the night as jaehyo tries to wrestle jiho's face from his mind.

\-------

turns out it's not so easy when kyung and jiho are best friends. jaehyo feels like he can't figure it out for the life of him, but at the same time, it makes sense.

when the two are together jaehyo feels out of breath, partially from trying to keep up with the sarcastic banter (partially from jiho just being there). their conversation coasts with an easiness that jaehyo can only account to a lifetime of inside jokes and understanding, and he's often wondering if he wants in or out of it.

even more often jaehyo feels as if he's third-wheeling but he catches himself thinking that if that means he can be around jiho, it's worth it.

"how do you two get along?" he actually blurts aloud once at dinner, to which jiho cuts off his own sentence and answers "i don't even know," without missing a heartbeat, and the two friends burst into laughter.

"y'know, jiho's so fucking gay that he did the whole best-friend-first-kiss thing," kyung snickers around a carrot stick and jiho sneers in the most unabashed way.

"we all gotta start somewhere." and jaehyo tries not to keel over from the force of the look jiho throws him.

\-------

"how was it," he asks when their art history lesson goes on break and there is the clatter of students rising from their lecture hall coffins around them.

"how was what." kyung hits in a few more words on his not-art-history assignment and snaps his macbook shut.

jaehyo gives him a meaningful look and kyung returns it with one that reads: yes, on normal days i'm a mind reader but not right now.

"you know. kissing him."

"which one-"

"jiho."

kyung looks up from his backpack. one. two. three seconds. an eyebrow quirk, a Cheshire grin, and he's looking back down again.

"stupid. ...stupid! what do you expect. we were, what. thirteen? fourteen? i knew something was up for a while, he was always whining about how handsome guys could be and, if there was ever a camera like in The Office-"

they exit the auditorium and turn on auto-pilot to go to the seven seasons, the student-run cafe. jaehyo's counting the bricks as they pass his sneakers up the hill. jihoon the FAV student walks by and complains about how his props haven't shipped yet, and oh, he should have just bought those rubber animals from the party store.

the door chimes their entry as street noise is switched for cafe buzz.

"and?"

"and wHAT."

"how was-"

"the kiss? it was? a good kiss? he'd already had two girlfriends before, so. but I let him do it because he needed it. he was closing in and I was like. alright there he goes. (one large latte please.) then I just pulled away and looked at him like 'dude I'm so glad you're out but now you gotta find yourself a boyfriend.’"

jaehyo fiddles with the drawstring of his backpack. tell me about how his lips felt against yours. did his lashes brush your cheek? did he let you cup the back of his neck? what were his other boyfriends like?

"hi, yes, one chai latte please."

\-------

jaehyo's had three girlfriends total.

the first was high school, four weeks, maybe six. hand holding until they each fell for the next good looking person that came along. teenage, disposable love.

the second was freshman year of college, bright-eyed curiosity. she was safe but it was too comfortable to be comfortable.

the third. oh, the third. kyungri, junior year until he'd graduated: laughed at all his bad jokes and memorized his schedule so she could wait for him by the door when he let out. he did the same. picnics and sharing earbuds, when they found the time. (they both always did.) the closest thing he'd ever found to happiness. but. long distance is a funny thing. so he's been dating his studies ever since.

and now there was...

"...from Ancient Greece—when the nine goddess daughters of Zeus motivated artistic achievement—to today, the muse’s face or fashion or innate grace or mystery comes to inhabit the mind of an artist and encourages his creation," drawls the professor, too-loud oxfords clacking along the floor. "muses run the gamut from otherworldly to innocent to seductive. they may not be the gods and goddesses of antiquity, but they, eternally, know how to act like them, and hold the same power.”

jaehyo tries not to roll his eyes too hard as he shuts his notebook with one hour to go on the clock.

\-------

he's editing his website when the door of the studio swings open and shut. the footsteps would have otherwise been ignored as another studiomate had they not determinedly approached him and deposited a tall boy with rose gold hair in his lap.

jiho circles jaehyo's neck in his arms.

"hi."

jaehyo struggles to uncross his eyes.  
"hi. you changed your hair."

"you noticed! yeah, i can't keep a color for too long... there's just SO many colors out there, you feel."

jaehyo nods the best you can when you've got a person on your lap and speaking four inches away.

"matches your face." a lock is held to jaehyo's cheekbone, which is decidedly no longer pale with the way he's burning up.

"what-"

"kyung said you wanted my number." jiho reaches around jaehyo to find a sticky note and instead scrawls something into the margins of jaehyo's notebook.

chin now hooked over jiho's shoulder, jaehyo looks at the ceiling and starts to count to ten. whatever can stop him from nuzzling into his neck.

...six seven eight...

he smells like weed and febreze. it's.. nice.

... nine ten.

"i don't-"

"shh. he reads minds. it's okay. besides. you haven't moved since i sat down."

a hand telephone held to triple-pierced ear and door slam later, jaehyo waits for the warmth to fade from his thighs, and then some.

\-------

[xxx-xxx-xxxx] xoxo ur new muse

\-------

jaehyo corners kyung in the art store by the miniature foliage.

"you told him I wanted his number???"

kyung looks up as if offended to be interrupted while choosing tiny fake trees. "hey, my fees for favors are usually crazy high but i did yours pro bono out of pity. you're welcome, bee tee dubz."

"no one says that anymore."

"they do now. so did you call him?"

jaehyo busies himself with the basal wood. "no, not yet."

kyung brightens up immediately. "hey, take your time. at least he's into you, too." he claps his friend on the back a little harder than necessary and makes a bee line for the register.

jaehyo stands frozen in the aisle until a freshman asks him to move and if he was okay.

\-------

he wasn't.


End file.
